My Youngest Child’s Journey
This is my youngest daughter. She’s 20 years old now.
Two years ago, we were shocked and upset when she told us she wasn’t going to the out-of-state college she had always dreamed of. She had a full scholarship there, so we didn’t understand why she changed her mind.
She’s very smart, ranking in the top 3% of her high school class. But she couldn’t explain why she wasn’t going. Over time, I realized she was struggling with anxiety and just wasn’t ready. Part of her choice was about staying close to her boyfriend—even though she used to laugh at other girls for doing the same thing.
At first, I felt embarrassed. In our family, we are high achievers, and I wanted her to follow the plan. But by the time I accepted her decision, it was too late for her to apply to the state university, which also offered her a full scholarship. I had to put my pride aside and focus on what she needed, not what I wanted.
She chose to take online classes at the state university instead. Then her boyfriend proposed. We told her, “No way! You’re too young.” We also said we wouldn’t pay for her tuition if they got married.
So she got a job. She applied to every Starbucks in town because Starbucks covers tuition for online students at our state university.
She got the job. She got married (we paid for the wedding, and we love her husband). She did amazing at work and kept up with school. Now, she’s graduating this week with a 4.0 GPA—just two years after high school, while working 30 hours a week!
We learned an important lesson: Every kid has their own path. College dorm life isn’t for everyone. Success looks different for each person.
And most of all, we realized—it was never about us.