When my wife Debbie had a routine mammogram in January 2016, it showed a spot, so more tests were done. She had a small lump, stage 0 breast cancer. Chemo, lumpectomy, and radiation treatments over the next year were done. Treatment was apparently successful, and the adjacent lymph nodes were clear.
At a followup visit every six months, including January 2019, Debbie’s oncologist declared her cancer-free.
A few weeks later, toward the end of January, Debbie began experiencing some back pain. Soon her back and ribs were in severe pain. She became short of breath, and couldn’t even walk 30 feet (10 meters) without stopping to rest and catch her breath. Our doctor told me to take her to the emergency room.
At the ER, they discovered Debbie’s cancer had metastasized. It was stage 4, having spread to spine, ribs, lymph nodes, lungs, and pleura.
After several chemo infusions, the cancer seemed to be receding. We were told that there was no cure, only management.
Now, Debbie and I know how someone can develop stage 4 cancer without realizing it until it is too late.
Epilog:
Debbie lost her battle with cancer on August 1, 2023. I was deeply saddened for several minutes, followed by relief that Debbie is now in a better place, and also with relief that I no longer need to care for her 24/7, the last two months of which she was completely bedridden. She’s been gone about 6 weeks (as I write this), and I deeply miss the love of my life.
While the circumstances were sad as we approached the end of Debbie’s life, we did not live in sadness. Instead, we continued to enjoy each other’s company with each new day. While I deeply miss my bride, I am not living in sadness, but with the joy of remembering the 43 years and 11 months we shared with each other.